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Sunday, 02 November 2008

Thursday, 23 October 2008

  • turn.

    I am trying not to thing about things as they are.

    so here it goes.

     

    My sister's pregnancy is going great. she's feeling sick which means its going to stick..the hormones are strong with this one. I am thankful for that. I've been praying a lot for her.

     

    I've been out of touch with so many people, and they are begininng to be impatient with me. I can't help that for now. I can just wish they'll understand.

    Sometimes its hard being pressured about certain things and all you can do is say that you're making the most of what you have.

     

    I had a dream about aaron..and it made me so mad. I hate dreaming about him. I literally spent a whole hour begging and pleading with God to make me stop. Just when I think I'm over everything he's put me through and the hurt he did to my heart, I dream about him..and in those dreams its usually where he says he's sorry and made mistakes, and heaven knows he has, and then he says he loves me and everything is as it was...

    or what I thought it was..

     

    and its far beyond time for me to move on, but..I know I think about him atleast once a day..which is why I'm sure God hasn't seen fit for me to get married..

    even though I do have strong thoughts about love..

    and friendship...and sometimes you just know things about people..

    like I do.

Sunday, 12 October 2008

  • I am unsure of direction right now..

    do I turn here and go down this path..

    or do I do this..

     

    things have changed suddenly in my life..

    some good, some bad..

    it's always hard to let go...

    and maybe even hold on sometimes....

    I'm praying, but sometimes I feel like I don't know how to be heard. I know God hears me, I guess that's not what I"m trying to say, but I don't know how to effectively voice what I think.

    I have these desires....Children..Marriage, and I want to know the future..

     

    I found out yesterday my sister is having another baby. That will be #4 for her. 4's my lucky number.

    She's 36, nearing 37. So this pregnancy is a higher risk for some things, but she's in good shape...I just pray everything will turn out good. and she'll be healthy and happy, and so will the baby....

    My sister has a heart condition..and she should never have children, because there's a 50-50 chance each time she'll experience strokes, or blood clots....I worry.

    God, just take care of her. Please? Don't let anything bad happen to her. Just keep everyone safe.

     

    please?

     

     

     

Friday, 10 October 2008

  • if you are chilly, here take my sweater....

    its snowing outside.

    can you believe this?

    it went from summer, to five days of fall where it started to cool off, and now out of nowhere its pouring snow..

     

    and heather called me while she was getting out of work to talk to me, while she walks eight blocks, from down town to where she parks her car....

    she was wearing flip flops...

    and she said.. "so now I'm going to get pneumonia and die."

    and I told her if I could get out of this dang place..

    that I'd come get her and drive her the eight blocks to her car.

    she said her feet were bright red...slightly bright pink. hot pink.

    and I said..since its more evident that once you're feet lose color, that you'll have frost bite,

    "well atleast they're not black?"

     

Thursday, 09 October 2008

  • Agile little kittens..

    I miss my kitty cats. I wonder if they think I've deserted them. I hope that my brother is fond of them, otherwise they'll probably hate me when I get back. I seem to remember my brother not being very fond of cats, and making random weird "play-on-words" kind of jokes about them.

    I am finally starting to feel better. Although a bit worn down at times. I do have meningitis, but am on iv antibiotics to cure it. I have feel much better than I did compared to being in isolation at first. I felt delirious and even a bit near something fatal. so I am much relieved that I am starting to turn back around. I've had a lot of people praying for me, for quite some time.

    so I am thankful for that.

    I've become addicted to ridiculous, dumb shows. I am a bit frightened to admit to myself....

    and to you (whoever the implied you, is referring too..Ie readers...whomever does read this, right now I think its only Jason, because I know no one else on xanga.)

     

    and so it goes like that.

    HI JASON.

    (I know you'll read this.)

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amberinafosho

  • Visit amberinafosho's Xanga Site
    • Name: amberinafosho
    • Gender: Female
    • Member Since: 9/3/2008

Me, simply put.

  • I am me...and that's all I have to really say. If you don't know me, you should...and if you don't like me..you probably don't know me...:] My life is made up of words that somehow fall together in a mess of poetry..typically. and I just say whatever I want usually, and it gets me in trouble, sometimes. I'm italian and stubborn, but I see other ways through things, and I care about usually everyone I meet like it's nobodies business...

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